Friday, 8 April 2016

Losing Focus While Striving for Goals

I mentioned at the end of the previous entry about wanting to better myself. Going to college is a major attempt at that. But it hasn't been easy. I saw where the course could potentially lead me and what I could get out of it. If I had been able to naturally progress through the course and get into a routine, it still wouldn't have been easy, but it would have been easier than what it was. It's like you see a target, focus on it and go for it. On the way to the target external forces distract your focus so you drift off course and sometimes forces beyond your control push you so far off course you never get completely back on track and so, at best, you lose focus on the ultimate goal and, at worst, you give up completely. 
I was discussing my college experience with someone today and that is how I described it. I was told that it's like I see that I have to do one thing in order to get to where I need to be and then I worry that I need to do something else in order to get the first thing done and I keep building up in my head other things that I need to do until the amount of tasks become completely overwhelming. So I need to learn to focus on one thing at a time and have confidence in myself to get that one thing done and then focus on the next thing. I have to get out of the habit of worrying about the parts of the journey I haven't got to yet. Like the saying goes "cross that bridge when you come to it". Eventually I will make progress and I will get to my goal if I don't lose focus and concentrate on what I need to do now and not what I haven't got to yet. I also need to be a bit more assertive around people who think they know what's the best way of doing things if that way won't work for me but the way I have laid out will.
I was in a new workshop in the college Monday and we were supposed to be learning about an Instrumentation and Control rig but I was distracted by the 2 CNC machines in the workshop that I won't get to use. I would have loved to use them and hadn't much of a clue about the rig my lecturer was talking about. I finally admitted to others as well as myself that I definitely chose the wrong course. I have given up trying to get into third year and there are 2 subjects I won't complete. I will complete 2nd year and sit a number of exams to help me show a level of ability to potential other courses and employers. I will discuss my options with the careers office next week and come up with a better solution than I did the first time I went there. I have an idea of what I want to get from a college course now and I know the one I'm on at the moment can't give me that. I chose the wrong course and I'm not sure if the college can offer me a learning experience that suits my needs, even if they could offer a course that was aimed at my personal career goals.