Saturday, 3 September 2016

Gluten

I had rice wine as part of a chicken stir fry recipe for dinners for a couple of days recently. It turns out that Chinese rice wine has gluten in it. Wheat is used in the ingredients but I bought it from an Asian shop and there were no ingredients written on the label and no allergen warnings.
I knew things were flowing a bit freely the next day but I put it down to the fact that I had alcohol in my system from the rice wine and of course I had been eating a gluten free chocolate bar with an artificial sweetener in it. I asked if rice wine was gluten free on the Facebook group Coeliac Experiences. It was when someone commented that not all rice wine was gluten free that I decided to look it up on Google. I may have researched rice wine before and completely forgotten about it. But anyway...
I can feel that damage has been done. I'm suffering with discomfort and ibs and can't function properly today. I went to the shop earlier but haven't been out today apart from that. Mentally I'm feeling low. I'm writing this partly to keep my mind occupied so as not to drift into mild depression and to push away thoughts of anxiety over what my immune system is doing to my intestine and worry about how much nutrition is being absorbed from food. I am trying to focus on the fact that I have been eating reasonably well lately so I shouldn't get to a stage where I am starving only an hour or two after a big meal (as has happened in the past).
I have felt nauseous before but I don't think it'll be like that this time. Could happen though. Don't ask me for an opinion or to make a decision on something because brain fog will happen to varying degrees. Today I had to make an effort to wash the ware and it took a bit of mental strength to maintain focus on the task. I successfully completed it. Whew! So I'm just lying here on my bed now doing this because it keeps me in a zone where I have some degree of comfort despite my gut teasing me that I might need the bathroom at any moment.
I'll still cook a dinner later and still eat as normal. It's tempting to avoid all food for the rest of the day but some of my digestive system is bound to take in nutrition, right? I think I'd make myself feel worse if I stopped eating because I'd be hungry on top of feeling unwell. It's bad enough that I won't get the full benefits from food already and then not eating at all on top of that.
If this seems a bit muddled or incomplete or something, well just try to understand that I'm suffering from gluten ingestion and it's consequences. So it's hard to think straight and make everything make sense. Not every coeliac is going to react or feel the way I do right now after being glutened. Each body will react differently and each individual reaction in the same body could feel different to the previous one. I'm just sharing how I feel now after my latest consumption of gluten. Partly as a kind of mental therapy for myself and partly to help people understand what living with this condition is like. If you didn't know me or about my condition you wouldn't think, just by looking at me, that there's anything wrong with me right now. But my immune system has just went to battle with my digestive system and done damage to the villi that absorb nutrients from food so I'm not functioning properly. But I'll remind myself one more time, as medical conditions go it's not the worst one to get. I don't have to take any medication to control it, it won't kill me quickly and I can live a normal healthy life when no gluten proteins get in my body.